LOCATION: Ohio
CHALLENGE: 
DATE/NUMBER: 13-Mar-1999/3
MAP:
A lie to say, "O my mine gave a diamond big as a fist."
But with every gem in his pocket, the jewels he has missed -- 10,000 Maniacs
I found the hot, glowing, ancient emerald near the secret snake
passage, where Ironman devours his apples. On the island of the
sun king I looked in the castle near the lake. Near the land of
the bakers of cakes, looked under the great big donut, second
from the left.
Commander Cody then came from the tower on top of the hill of
turquoise. The tower's stairs descended straight down at first,
forming a coil further on down, 75 slippery and rickety steps below
the cliff. At the bottom stair, a large green moose bearing a toy
made of 32 jacks and 132 balls went over to a pond by the rusted out
convertible 1964 Studebaker. Here a sign indicated that another 131
moose would make strides towards the car in oppressive heat of 154
degrees Fahrenheit, or degrees Celsius; it's hard to remember.
To the west was a hill side with an orchard of peach trees. There,
a large ancient stone burial chamber concealed a mound of gold, some
126 pieces. Around 26 paces to the north in a flowerpot was the map
showing the direction to the Orb of Knowledge, somewhere about 156
minutes, and 59 degrees north latitude.
Back to the tower, where the Commander opened a cedar chest, was the
Tree of Life, some 122 million years old. Steps and stairs, here at
the tower, descended 52 kilometers, to 48 degrees of north latitude.
Up the stairs to the tower with the reentrant door, went I, to find
the bearded old hermit with the gnarled cane of cottonwood tree branch,
which was 94 centimeters long. 34 paces behind the hermit, on a plateau,
was a never before photographed course of standing stones, of the period
around 346 BCE. I walked to the megaliths excitedly, a shimmer in the
corner of my eye after walking towards and crossing them showed me the
way to the road of magic, some 71 kilometers long.
Giant strides down this road at a pace of 246 meters-per-second went
I, bearing to the left to make sure that the hermit's long and thick
beard led good ol' me to his tree. His tree was 64 meters tall, 15
paces 'round the trunk at ground level, and 324 years old! Over to
it I went, the hermit and his twin sister followed. Birch trees
surrounded us, about 48 by my count. Steps up the tree at an angle
of 22 grads (or possibly degrees), led us up to the tree's opulent
living room. Carpets of white adorned the floors; wood juke boxes,
circa 47, provided our entertainment. Footprints led hither yon in
just about any direction you could name. 350 paths I counted from
that living room.
There I was trying to sell those greedy twins what I had in my ruck
sack, the hot, glowing, ancient green emerald of course. 23 quid
I got! Footprints I then followed at once, down the angle staircase.
For about 20 minutes I ran, 7 dobermans chasing. My strides got longer,
then at the finish some 348 Commander Codys came to roll large redwood
logs at the dogs, on which they stumbled, the logs squishing their
soft bodies to the ground. I woke up.
